I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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