Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
