the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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