Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
