Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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