Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
