I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
