5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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