dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
