hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
