She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
