i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we should paint friendship bongs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
