Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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