The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
