You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
