i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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