That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
