no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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