I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize