so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
