If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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