I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize