Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
