I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
