your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
