Define "chronic" masturbator.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
