It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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