So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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