I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
