I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
