Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
