also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
