it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
