just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
