i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
