why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
