you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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