Where is the hickey?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
