Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
