No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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