i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
