hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
