I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
