for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize