I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
