She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
