These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
