I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
did you just send me my own nude
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm always down for nudity.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
