I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
