We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need to calm my uterus...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
