Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
