You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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