We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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