He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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