We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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