I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
