I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
