yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
