so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
how does that bad decision feel?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
