Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Everyone says I win the strip club
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
