Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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