I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
