toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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