That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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