Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
