im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
