Tell her she can't have a vagina
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
