The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
