Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize